Thoughts of Suicide

Thought of Suicide

If someone would have told that one day I would be posting to a blog about my suicide I would have said "you are crazy" with a few curse words for emphasis. Well...here I am doing what I never thought I would do. My name is Jane, and no that is not my real name. I am using that name because I don't want to be carted off to the obsevarion tank for 72 hours because I'm a treat to myself (51/50). I also go by Jane Departing on Facebook. 

The goal of broadcasting my decision is not to build acclaim but awareness for what people go through when they decide to commit suicide. Suicide is something that happens as a result of a serious psychological injury. That is why people who go through terrible tramatic events in life are sometimes put under obsevarion to make sure that they won't try to kill themselves or others. I want to raise awareness for those who are contemplating suicide in an effort to help the people around them to understand the signs and how to help a suicidal person not hurt themself. I also want to help give those who have lost someone to suicide an understanding of what that person may have been thinking before they commited suicide. The people a suicde victim leaves behind are also victims and anyone contemplating suicide should think deeply about how their decision will effect those around them. Everyone has someone who will miss them even if they believe nobody gives a damn about them. And for those who have lost someone to suicide, it isn't your fault, don't think that you may have been able to do something differently that would have change that person's mind about suicide. The mind of a suicidal person is a special type of hell that knows no relief, and it is difficult to get someone to truly understand what that is like unless you have been there yourself.

People who commit suicide are not weak minded or quiters. They are simply people who have maxed out on what life has to offer them. Imagine what it would be like if you could no longer do anything that gave you joy ever again in life because that part of you was gone. Life would not be worth living. What is life without happiness? Happiness is an internal process that you have got to find for yourself. Nothing and no one can make anyone happy unless that person is already accepting of joy. Suicidal people lack that happiness which is part of the will to survive. If you feel you have nothing to live for you loose your drive and eventually happiness doesn't matter anymore only relief.

I want to be relieved of a burden that I don't want to carry. I don't want to live with the life that some ignorant people forced on me. The psychological effects of being violated and assaulted by single or multiple individuals is destructive to any victim, regardless of the means of attack.